His Plans For Me ~ My Portion

As a Christian, I believe that the Lord has control over every aspect that touches my life. Jeremiah 29:11 says: “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I find it amazing that the Lord Himself has plans for me and they are always for my Good. As I deal with the frustrations of life it is easy to lose sight of this fact and respond by grumbling and complaining. Is it my place to decide that this particular circumstance or event belongs to my lovingly assigned portion while that one does not? Psalm 16:5 says: “LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.” The assignments are not up to me. “Your will be done” (Matt 6:10) means exactly that. My acceptance and invitation of the Lord’s will in my life. My trusting in Him and His ultimate plan for goodness even when I don’t understand. My response of gratitude regardless (I Thes 5:16-18).

The past few days have been a roller coaster of ups and downs. Jason is very sick again, and somehow our circumstances ~ the seemingly endless doctors appointments, hospital visits, car problems, mounting medical bills, children who are stressed and respond by being high maintenance, sleepless nights while caring for him and our little ones, special arrangements for the kids while going to all of these appointments ~ have become overwhelming to me. I trust that I am only seeing a small part of the plan that God is unfolding in my life and in the lives of my family. This portion is for my good ~ for the good of our entire family.

Sunday evening we made the decision to take Jason back to the emergency room because he had a severe headache that had not abated in two days. He had become almost non-responsive whenever I checked on him, and I was growing concerned about his stiff neck and fever along with the headache. As I was dressing and preparing the diaper bag, baby girl had a “blowout” diaper in the exersaucer. Our first delay. Again, not the timing I would have chosen, as I had to change her entire outfit and throw everything in a washing machine to soak while I was gone. Thy will be done, Father. My parents graciously came over to be with the older children at a moment’s notice, but as they entered the home they informed me that my van tire was completely flat. Apparently, I had run over a nail on the way home from church on Sunday morning. We switched the carseat and strollers over to the other van and continued our trip to the hospital. Another part of our heavenly allotted portion, allowed by the Lord for our good.

In spite of these delays, we arrived at the hospital quickly and were taken back to a cubicle immediately. We were in and out of the hospital in under three hours ~ our quickest visit ever. The doctors and staff treated him very kindly and were compassionate as they ran tests and administered medication. When we got home, my Dad had plugged our tire ~ a blessing both from my earthly father and my heavenly one.

Today, mentally and physically exhausted from several nights of shortened and interrupted sleep, I did not greet the day with my usual energy and enthusiasm. I was weak and I knew it. Crying out to the Lord, He showed Himself strong in my life and was gracious enough to allow me to recognize those blessings as they came. The kids were happy and school went smoothly. I was able to get Jason into our family doctor where he was immediately taken back and given a shot that has helped him sleep this afternoon (although the headache is not any better). My mother brought leftover roast and vegetables for our dinner so that I didn’t have to worry about cooking or clean-up this evening.

So many smaller blessings that I recognized throughout my day, and I was thankful to realize how much the Lord loves me and is Present to me throughout our trials. Each and every circumstance was and is part of the portion the Lord has prepared for me. Knowing that He loved me enough to give Himself for me, trusting that He will bring glory to His Name in the midst of these circumstances, believing that He has a plan for good in everything He is allowing, I thank Him.